we went to see the padres vs the cubs last night here in san diego. i was conflicted about who to root for as predicted. the friends we went with asked "what's with chicago's teams being bear-themed, are there bears in illinois?" and it's kind of bugging me that i don't know why. (no, there are no bears in illinois...that i know of)

i kind of want to challenge myself to make an artwork a day, preferably varying media as much as possible, but i feel like i would let myself down & eventually slack. sometimes i wish i could just not have email, so i could reclaim the hours i have to spend every day responding to it & do something creative FOR FUN (not for work) with my time instead. my sister is always suggesting that i allot 2 hours, say..2 days a week to respond, but that would never cover it all. i got 562 emails in the last week, over 18,000 in my inbox total. so much of my life feels wasted responding to emails saying things like 'please take me off your email list' and 'i'll get back to you on that'

i saw something on the news about how it's a new type of classifiable anxiety: fear of having too much email or something like that. email feels like someone is constantly tapping me on the shoulder asking me to please, please pay attention to them now right now please look now.