February 11th, 2011

owl

momentum feels right

not a lot going on with me at the moment. recently i was blissfully between projects but i feel that's starting to come to an end. (and, phew- because my wallet is sad)

as i've gotten older and become a more established artist, i've taken on deadlines that get longer and longer and longer. it's an honor to be offered these larger scale projects, and if the collaborator is inspiring, i'm always in!

these significant (and usually very fun!) projects span months and months, but sometimes have laborious, unnatural processes where instead of turning something in and it being done, i have to come back to it again and again, refining and changing the most insignificant things so it's "perfect" to a collaborator's eyes, a marketer's eyes, an editor's eyes, an author's eyes, etc!

then, after those projects are done, i feel creatively at a total stand still. instead of exploring my new ideas and moving forward, during these projects i've been -- by the nature of the deadlines -- hyperfocused on these singular moments in my work, and totally creatively parked.

i have realized that in a way, this is totally the opposite of what got me into art in the first place in terms of the momentum of constant creation, following my gut instinct visually, exploring new ideas at will...

it's kind of like if you're sitting around daydreaming and imagining things and thinking to yourself, and then someone asks you to think about one of those things for the next 6 months in isolation.

it's weird, right?
necessary to make a living, but weird.
lately i have a lot of art/dream analogies, don't i.